This is killing me cause Im thinking how could she do something like that since we havent been happy together for such a long time. And you told it as it is. I have 3 children by a man. That is not the case for most of the others out there. But my days off not much to eat. JOIN FREE: Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims . Im blessed that he is the father of my children. Because child support is extortion. Dont reproduce with someone who cant support a child if you dont want to have to pay back welfare, its really that simple. Ive felt the same emotions as you, still feel a lot of them. DV and Divorce agencies, feminists and their tax payer pork, state agencies and their matching funds, attorneys and judges with their artificially propped up legal fees, and single mothers who benefit from it all. You see, most opposing attorneys will run your credit score to asssess how juicy a target you are in order to get sued and your ability to pay, prior to compiling that 600 page compliant in court against you. I paid all the medical bills from my daughter, Im struggling to help pay my kids through college. I have pushed my own budget to the limits to get my kids into quality schools while mom didnt see this as a priority. It is important to note that a judge has the right to supersede this agreement if they feel it is unfair. Believe me, I understand that women got screwed back in the days. I guarantee you child support will not consider these extra mouths to feed when calculating your contribution to your first obligation. Sorry Child Support should be removes from the books period . This form needs to be signed by both parties in the presence of a witness who must be over the age of . We may not be getting Ben and Jerrys, may need to cut the cable for a while, not get that new iPhone, etc. They care more about money and jailing then helping families succeed!! Her full intention on marrying him was do live on his salary. We will not lie down without a fight. Child support needs to be reformed where almost like food stamps where the money can be used for certain things like food, clothes and other essential things. In most states they base the child support on the income of the father . Given that much information that rent will typically be $400 dollars plus that just makes those numbers even smaller or in some cases puts you in the red and so starts the quick descent in homelessness. Women are MENTALLY and FAR more physically abusing them men. Some men hate paying child support! The way it works now I get to see my youngest based on my exs work schedule. And if you have had a child out of wedlock, while the woman who bears the child starts out with custody, fathers can . Without going into a lot of detail, I had it pretty bad with support and other divorce obligations. When his son came out as gay she had her new husband beat him up she told him she hopes he gets aids and dies. This class action is on behalf of *both* types of family court for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either family court type. You could even put kids up for adoption when they are older. The one that does live with me costs me $900 a month. So technically daycare is not a need when you can use a private party. Who still has never gotten to meet his brother. If child support didnt exist then the parent that wanted to be there for the kid would be. Men have complete control. If some one has to pay 25k per month the mother or father (regardless of earnings) either has to allow the child to live with the wealthier parent, request less money thats within her budget, or match the amount. Any advice would be appreciated. Just cause I make more I have to pay 70% of summer camp, after school care, and now she wants tutoring cause our child supposedly has adhd. [2] Child support is not alimony. If she wants to keep the child and make the guy pay. amen to that. Men should have equal access to their children until its proven they arent worthy of equal time. How is this fair to my niece and nephew or to my other two children one of which is special needs. Or at least split the time. The fifth time he served a six-month jail sentence, which caused his past due child support to grow to over $5,700. I think you mean both have a chosenin who they sleep with and who they marry . I totally agree with you. I now make half of what i did when my ex started her plan, I cant provide for myself anymore, much less let my kids to experience a great time when I have them, other than juat the love i can give them,but sometimes that just isnt enough for them at rhia point as little kids, they dont know all about the deep down love I have but they do know we dont get to do a whole lot or have a whole lot when they are with me, and as little kids that is important to them. She would stay in bed til 2 pm and get up and make herself food. This includes food, health insurance, transportation to school, and one third of the utilities. Just saying. Good luck. We work together as a team to support her and we communicate. This story is a common one . The only way things are going to change is if we collectively and individually make create that change! Think about it. All this because the child doesnt know any better and is trusting and dependent on her. I was in the service and my wife and I had been married 9 years. There are MANY things wrong with the child support system, that need to be changed, starting by making laws uniform across the state, allowing it to be a pre-tax reduction for the person who pays it, a unified stopping point where the non-custodial parent is removed from paying without having to spend the time or money to have to go to court to get it stopped, etc. 795 a month. CHILD SUPPORT MAY DETER UNWED FATHERS: There were a number of stories on this study. Plus, by his time, the kids didnt want to leave a household where they could do just about whatever they want, and come live in a household where there would be rules and consequences. I had my son when i was 21 years old. CS in my state is a calculation based on the number of overnights each parent has, their salary, if they have other children to support, etc. Problem with support. I am so frustrated and upset that I really do not have any words for him. There are a couple of other pages, but its the same thing in other languages. I am a teacher and clinician. I just came back from war when all of this was going on not to mention I found out she cheated twice, once before our daughter was conceived and once 2 months after she was born. We will work zealously to guide you through the appeals process, ensuring that you present the proper evidence and arguments. Its pathetic what the courts do to good men who are taken advantage of by women who seem to have quite a bit of knowledge of how the system works for them. You are not a subject. Bought a new camaro less that a year after leaving my ex in cash. My paprents got divorce about 5 years ago and up until 3 years ago, my mother had custody. Even if the mother asked for the support to be modified by asking the judge, it usually is not granted. Many states also charge illegal amounts of interest on child support arrears, which buries non-custodial parents in debt. If she doesnt, and he does, once again her decision. Ill continue to pay on this debt, but its not right. Going down to the master bedroom I find my wife nude spooning with s naked guy. Long story short: she made us move with her, which became an issue between my sister and I with her. However, while my husband didnt like it, he also knew that it was his choice to have children with this woman, and until they turned 18, he would have to just deal with how she did things. Her mom just moved the new guy in and doesnt value my daughter and my relationship. System is outdated and unfair. When the children were with us, he was 100% involved, and when they went home to their mother, he still continued to try to be involved in the raising of the children. We also dont degrade one another in front of our child. The final straw was one summer, when our youngest was just a year, the central-AC broke. Office in Ridgeland, MS. 4 Problems With The Modern Child Support System, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window). She tries to make my visitation as hard as possible and lies to my daughter every chance she gets. What do I do? When put together, it's almost like millions across America are asking our children - many growing up in an advanced economy with higher living expenses and educational needs - to go without. In a perfect world both parents could share custody and fulfill our rights as a good role model and loving parent but this isnt a perfect world. The system is completely broke. Someone had to carry the baby till birth. All of this is satisfactory to our horrible flawed court system. It was still considered part of his income. Fast forward to the childs 8th year and now my cousin is in between jobs but is currently working on getting his CDL license. These are just some things that need attention. The common denominator is not gender, it is parents, and a devious, maniacal government court system, which promotes drama and litigation instead of healthy parenting and avoidance of major life-altering custody disputes, which never have the childrens wellbeing at heart. Than i ask why was nothing ever produced that she was going to school, they said its not our job to do that. The National Parents Organization states, "Long ago and far away there was a land in which non-custodial fathers paid child support directly to the custodial motherIn the 1970s, child support collection, disbursement and accounting became a function of government instead." #childsupport #indigentfathers #americancorruptfamilylaw This senareo is more common than not. Ive spent the last day and a half searching the internet for some sort of solution and so far all Ive found is a bunch of policies that make sense on the surface but lack the emotional depth necessary to determine a fair shake for everyone involved. Also dont forget how much the attorneys are making off this gig, pitting parents against each other. This is the best way in my personal opinion. But 800.00 a month and 1200.00 on a 3 paycheck month, come on thats crazy. Agree with Bob Grise. She kept filling my daughters head with nonsense about me leaving her so I was having to try to explain that I would never leave her I just left her mother. Many fathers sincerely want to do right by their children, but simply don't have the means to do so. The support pays her house note shes late paying all the time crushing my credit. Guys have went to jail for owing $1500. you do to the other side of the equation, it remains equal. These financial incentives also explain why states ignore 42 US Code 654(21)(a), which caps the maximum amount of interest that a state can charge on child support arrears at 6-percent. I would also like to see a child support trust account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) become the norm, again, to make supporting the children a shared responsibility instead of treating the non-custodial parent as a support check that is allowed to visit with their children at the custodial parents whim. The best things you can do as a father who is seeking sole or joint custody is to remain an active part of your child's life. Nearly across the board, states scored with a cumulative 1.63 grade point average (on a 4.0 scale). Im buying a house in cash in 8 years so it matters none. I just want my baby back. The primary driver in most custody cases is that if the time division changes, so does the CS. Read most all of these comments. We are waiting to get married til his last child is a adult so she cant count my income or my land as I am Native American. Top it off, I could not get SSI benefits for her, she was denied!! The man I was living with lived a double life. I know he is avoiding being served, as that is very apparent. Child support (as well as other . They dont go on hold because you lost your job. The breadwinner's wishes for child custody. I went from seeing them to bed every night for 13 yrs to every other weekend. I too live in Illinois, and Ive had custody of my son and daughter since 2004. I pawned my truck, all that i had to my name, and he sent cps out the next day to figure out why i was not in jaik where he wanted me. and I foot the bill for everything else like rent, health insurance, utilities, school expenses, birthdays, holidays, cell phones, activities and all the other little extras. Billionaire William Buffett was asked recently, What is the MOST important to be successful in life? So his attorney started a witholding which ended when he quit his job in 2012, and in 2013 he had convinced all three that I was evil and caused all of jis financial difficulties. If you ask for reasonable help the state will try to help, but asking for $0 if youre able to work and help is ridiculous. With all our electronic conveniences, it's easy to pay and receive child support. Why should dads (or any parent) have to show they will be better than any other parent (real or imagined!). He apparently needs his Me Time after work to go to happy hour and smoke weed. Did you know they also charge the non-custodial parent 2.5% of the payment each time it is made? Required fields are marked *. Children need both parents together for that to happen. I was in relationship with my boyfriend and we were planning to get married soon and all of a sudden he left me for another girl, i really love this guy and never can imagine my life without him. The child support system needs to be abolished full stop. Child support an child support court are all biaist. Im sorry that your son is thrown into a multiple household situation that is only hurting him. It sounds like a . Please 140k is an executive position at a company or a good looking stripper can make more than that in tips. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with Autism, FASD, and static encephalathy. it is three times more deadly for a man to spend any given year supporting his children on the job than it is for the mother in that same years time to ever have a pregnancy to the birth or for the mother to have an abortion. Organizations? "Unofficial" Dads. My ex was a gold digger narcissistic type. You are being conspired against as soon as you enter the court room. You will then find that the state is the real and true DEADBEAT! See the kids want 5050 I want 5050 and now my kids cant see me but 48 hours every other week and 3 hours on Wed if I can take off work. The old chestnut. Why is it that men in the midst of the great depression were not thrown in jail. Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. When you find yourself in the judicial system, especially men of color, you are experiencing discrimination and institutional racism. Man has pull out method, her word shes on BC, a condom, or abstinence! Finally, someone who gets it. Oh, by the way, he old paid it because I filed for divorce and took him to court. And on top of all this what about his biological needs, he needs a relationship too. So the result even with video proof shes cheating on me while away and paying for it all I get shafted, I was denied full custody ir the house. There will be someone out there that will be honest and get you through this. Yeah nothing wrong with that. We both decided to go out separate ways, however that doesnt mean that he has to support me . You cannot very well care for your children from jail. We will not be demonized for our struggles. My grand sons they found out in April has HLH a rare disease. THE SYSTEM IS OUT DATED!!! 10 years later, she still hasnt save one dime for their college. SInce the family of 6 receives so much state aid, I am now being taken back to court to pay twice the original agreed upon amount, even though in front of the Agency lawyer and judge the mother says she does not need me to pay more to support her other children. Thats hypocrisy, and insane. If the dad was the only income and moved out a stay st home mom will not be making the same money going back into the work force. My ex drives a 2015 new model car, I drive an 1989 toyota Camry. I make $80k per year, take home $3,900 after health insurance and taxes. Many continued blessings. I work full time and receive a $250-300 check every 2 weeks. WTF?!?! Keep in mind that the deadbeat dads are a minority. I call child support and they say that they can not do anything about it. Yes folks, this man will not even come out of pocket for his own childrens birthdays or holidays. The law says that parenting is suppose to be 50/50 unless one of the parents have been declared unfit or a danger to their children, which means you are entitled to a jury trial to declare you unfit! Edins study goes hand-in-hand with other recent research that suggests economic support, although necessary, is hardly enough to qualify one as a good parent. And he is an amazing father. As it is fathers are segregated from their children as though they have done something wrong or immoral by no longer being with the mother and turned into quasi-criminals by default at an alarming rate and it is an absolute abuse and assault on the male gender as a whole insofar as their humanity from boy hood to man hood and it will stop or ill die trying. How is it fair that I foolishly got with a woman who lied about her past was intimate with me and then breaks up for me after she gets pregnant and then remarries and ironically has another child. Taxman. One was 17 at the time, another 14, and another 7. I am a disabled parent of 4, let alone a single parent. Because I chose to be a good father and a decent husband, maybe thats too boring for some women. The kids will come to their own conclusion in time. My retirement is 75k. The current calculated guideline DO NOT take into account the basic survival needs of the father. While the government is very efficient with its enforcement of child support laws, it might be more beneficial to address its child custody statutes. Half of that is 55 a week. Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. They are not killing their cash cows. Shes getting 45% of your net. Anyway, when we finally did break up, I had received a notice, claiming that I owe 16,000 in back pay. The system is circa 1950 male breadwinner BS and expects a percent stable economy. I grew up in this kind of situation and got to watch it from 3 different points of view of a child. Someone that wants too fight NOT complain.. 215-626-2504. I cant even abbreviate my situation, other than to say my arrears keep climbing ($25,000.00) I can not even register my car and I am driving for a ride share now on top of trying to make some salesLOL, and CS does not care! Restraining orders, false accusations, her step dad tried to kill me etc. Time matters not Money. However, many dads want to be involved, but when the court says you can only have them every other weekend, its hard to form a relationship. Oh well my advice dont marry, live with anyone or have kids I did it all and got the bad deal for being a good dad. 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